I’m Keaton Coleman and, for all that I love writing, I don’t know what to say. Instead, I’ll tell you a few fun facts about me, from which you can draw your own conclusions on who I am.
If I had a time machine I would preserve intact copies of Metropolis and The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes, tour the Library of Alexandria, high-five Marie Curie, and sneakily investigate the Roanoke colony, in that order.
One day I hope to own Carole King’s “Tapestry” on vinyl without having to pay fifty dollars for it. If you want to send me a copy, I’ll give you my address, no joke.
Deep water is terrifying to me, as are dogs and being alone.
I aspire to be as badass and fluffy as Special Agent Jack Bauer, the cat from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. He was born in gasoline and once blew up a car, and I know in my heart of hearts he’s still out there, keeping alleys everywhere free of crime.